My Perspective on the Violent and False Sense of Control of the Men in My Family

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I’ve noticed a troubling pattern in my family: men seem to prefer marrying women who are orphans. (🔎👰🤵)

I find this behavior "unmanly" and "wrong," based on my belief in equality and mutual respect in relationships, where control and dominance are seen as negative traits.

This tradition of preferring orphaned women is evident on both sides of my family. I find it disturbing because I believe the motives behind this preference are rooted in control rather than compassion.

If the men in my family were truly "alpha males" or ”millionaire“, they likely wouldn’t have chosen orphaned women as their spouses.

I think this preference is tied to power dynamics. They might view orphaned women as having fewer family ties and support systems, making them more dependent and easier to control.

Men in my family might unconsciously seek partners who they believe will conform to their expectations without resistance, perhaps due to insecurity or a need for control.

Psychological factors, such as fear of strong in-law relationships or a desire for control, could also be at play. Men might feel threatened by the influence of a wife’s family and thus choose women without parents to minimize this influence.

By marrying orphaned women, they might perceive them as more vulnerable and easier to control due to their lack of parental support.

(but My father, the youngest of them, married my mother, who is not an orphan. The other men seem to have attitudes that prioritize male dominance and control.)

I am disgusted by these men, as they exhibit a sense of entitlement and superiority, believing they have the right to dominate their spouses. Choosing orphaned women seems to reinforce this dynamic.

They display a clear sense of 'control consciousness.' I strongly believe that a desire for control is behind their preference for orphaned women, who might be seen as easier to manage in the relationship.

I truly believe this pattern is harmful and unjust.



Moreover, I personally suffered from control and pressure from one of the men in my family, other than my father.

It’s disheartening to feel the need to document the behavior of my own family members, whose blood is shared with mine.